Proverbs

Quae nocent docent.
Things that hurt, teach.

Vincit qui se vincit.
He wins control who controls himself. -Seneca

Dulce et Decorum Est

(Is it really dulce et decorum est pro patria mori? That is, “Is it sweet and fitting to die for the fatherland”? or “Is there no greater honor than to die for one’s country”? Read the poem and see if you agree with the poet, Wilfred Owen (1893-1918)

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs,
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots,
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame, all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of gas-shells dropping softly behind.


Gas! GAS! quick, boys! An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time,
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime.
Dim through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams before my helpless sight
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams, you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin,
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gurgling from the froth-corrupted lungs
Bitten as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,—
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Dulce (sweet)
Decorum (honorable)

Wilfred Owen himself died fighting for England in World War I, just one week before the armistice was signed and the war ended.

The same Beasts roar everywhere

I came across this article by Nigerian Nobel Laureate Wole Soyinka. The context of the article is bloody protests that were held against the Miss Universe contest being hosted by Nigeria in 2002. Most of what he has written is greatly applicable to the Indian scenario as well.

Blessed are those who take a leap into the future

A speech I am much inspired by

'You've got to find what you love,'

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Great Video- Interview with Jeffrey Archer

Do not just write. Imbibe.

"The moment when I'm no more than a writer, I will cease to be a writer."

Albert Camus

Rainy Days And Mondays

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

On Karen Carpenter

Two days back, I heard on the airwaves a song that I liked immediately- 'On Top Of The World.'

When I next came online, I searched it up on YouTube and came to know that it was by 'The Carpenters' and immediately fell in love with the gorgeous smile of the lady who sang it. So, I searched about her on google too.

Karen Carpenter and her brother Richard were the brother-sister duo who made 'The Carpenters.' And, on the wikipedia article about her, I discovered that Karen had died at merely 32 years, because of Anorexia Nervosa. It's an eating disorder in which the patient diets compulsively to keep her body weight down. The article said that Karen's tragic death shook the world into awareness about this debilitating disease.

I have been feeling sad since then, since yesterday. I had loved 'On Top Of the World' so much! A friend of mine is getting married. I had thought I would gift this song to her.

Today, I went to You Tube again, and listened to the song. And, I read the comments people had given. So many of them were about her tragic death! So many lamented the fact that she had not considered herself beautiful enough and had taken such drastic measures.

I am feeling an ache.

In this special edition video, they have merged the clips of 3 of her performances of 'On Top Of the World.' The first one is about two years before her death, and I felt so sad to see her look so old already (when she was just thirty), with hollow looking cheeks. The second clip, which has her in white gown, is the one that I had seen the day before yesterday, and loved so much! There is such a joy on her face there! It's as if she is actually in love, and the happiness is radiating from her.

The contrast just made me sadder.

I met a reader on the road

Haha...the title is quite pompous, isn't it? Nah, I am not that famous yet. I hardly have any readers. Yet. And that is precisely why I was so delighted to meet a dedicated one.

Richa, this one is for you. Thank you so much! :-)

I had gone to the University for some work, and was on my way out when I saw Richa walking towards the road I was on. She was with her father. Such chance meetings with someone you know from college or school are always so exciting! I was so happy to see her!

She was my batchmate in college. And,one of the first things she told me was that she reads my blog regularly. I was like, "Really???" And then she went even further and said that she had read all my stories here too, and that she liked my blog! I was like..."Wow!" and "Wow!" and "Wow!"....hey, I used to think that I am pretty much talking to myself on the blog; but it seems that there ARE some silent readers here....who come and read and then silently go away, without leaving any footprints. So I don't even know they were here. I wish I could! :-)

Thank You Richa...those 10 minutes made my day! :-)

What makes a Hit?

I found this article related to the discussion we had on my blog some time back- On what gets defined as Literature and what not?

About the Author:

Michael Shermer is the Publisher of Skeptic magazine, a monthly columnist for Scientific American, an adjunct professor of economics at Claremont Graduate University, and the author of the just released book, The Mind of the Market: Compassionate Apes, Competitive Humans, and Lessons from Evolutionary Economics (Times Books).

The article has been Republished from here.

The new science of evolutionary economics explains why some candidates, like some products, get ahead in the marketplace

By Michael Shermer


As the presidential candidates bounce from primary to primary, with some surging and others falling back, it is appropriate to ask if there is something going on here more than simply political preferences and perceived positions on issues. There is. In my latest book, The Mind of the Market, I discuss a phenomenon called the Matthew Effect. It is a disturbing disruption of what we think of as democratic fairness. Here's how it works.

In Jesus' Parable of the Talents, recounted in Matthew 25:14-29, the gospel author recalls the messiah as saying in the final verse: "For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away." Out of context this hardly sounds like the wisdom of the prophet who proclaimed that the meek shall inherit the earth, but in context, Jesus' point was that properly investing one's money (as measured in "talents") generates even more wealth. The servant who was given five talents invested it and gave his master ten talents in return. The servant who was given two talents invested it and gave his master four talents in return. But the servant who was given one talent buried it in the ground and gave his master back just the one talent. The master then ordered his risk-averse servant to give the one talent to the servant who had doubled his investment of five talents, and so he who earned the most was rewarded with even more. And thus it is that the rich get richer.

Jesus probably had in mind something more than an economic allegory about selecting the right investment tool for your money, but the story is a parable about how people and products can gain an unfair advantage in the marketplace. In the 1960s, the sociologist of science Robert K. Merton conducted an extensive study of how scientific ideas are discovered and credited in the marketplace of ideas and discovered that eminent scientists typically receive more credit than they deserve simply by dint of having a big name, while their junior colleagues and graduate students, who usually do most of the work, go largely unnoticed. A similar well-known effect can be seen in how both innovative ideas and clever quotes gravitate up and are given credit to the most famous person associated with them.

Merton called this the Matthew Effect. Marketers know it as Cumulative Advantage. Once a product gets a head-start in sales it signals to consumers that other people want that product and therefore it must be good, thereby causing them to desire it as well, which leads even more people to purchase the product, sending more signals to other consumers that they too must have it, and so it climbs up the bestseller list. Everyone in business knows about the effect, which is why authors and publishers, for example, try so fervently to land their book on the New York Times bestseller list. Once you are on the list bookstores move your title to the "bestseller" bookcase (sometimes even labeled "New York Times Bestseller List") and to the front of the store where copies of the book are stacked like cordwood. This sends a signal to potential book buyers entering the store that this must be a good read, triggering an increase in sales that gets reported to the New York Times book review editors, who bump the title up the list, sending another signal to bookstore buyers to order even more copies, which secures the title more time in the bestseller list that increases sales even further, and round and round the feedback loop goes as the richest authors get even richer.

To find out if the Bestseller Effect is real, the Columbia University sociologist Duncan Watts and his collaborators Matthew Salganik and Peter Dodds tested it in a Web-based experiment in which 14,000 participants registered at a Web site where they had the opportunity to listen to, rate, and download songs by unknown bands. One group of registrants were only given the names of the songs and bands, while a second group of registrants were also shown how many times the song had been downloaded. The researchers called this the "social influence" condition, because they wanted to know if seeing how many people had downloaded a song would influence subjects' decision on whether or not to download it. Predictably, the Web participants in the social influence condition were influenced by the download rate figures: songs with a higher download number were more likely to be downloaded by new participants, whereas subjects in the independent group who saw no download rates, revealed dramatically different song preferences. This is not to deny that the quality of a song or a book or any other product does not matter. Of course it does, and this too is measurable. But it turns out that subjective consumer preferences grounded in relative rankings by other consumers can and often does wash out the effects of more objective ratings of product quality.

Markets that traffic in rankings, ratings, and bestseller lists seem to operate on their own volition, seemingly beyond the control of the forces within. Thinking of the political landscape as a market and the candidates as competing products, we can see how polls and media coverage confer the Matthew Effect upon certain candidates, thereby shifting voter preferences and loyalties like so many brands in the supermarket. The moment Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus the Matthew Effect kicked into high gear, generating immediate media attention, driving political pundits to shift their focus, and creating a positive feedback loop in which the media-rich candidate got even richer.

So in addition to the actual value of a political product, our shifting brand political preferences often have more to do with this peculiar social phenomenon than it does what we like to think of as democratic fairness.

Hap

A poem by Thomas Hardy

(Note: the literal meaning of 'Hap' is Luck)

If but some vengeful god would call to me
From up the sky, and laugh: "Thou suffering thing,
Know that thy sorrow is my ecstasy,
That thy love's loss is my hate's profiting!"

Then would I bear it, clench myself, and die,
Steeled by the sense of ire unmerited;
Half-eased in that a Powerfuller than I
Had willed and meted me the tears I shed.

But not so. How arrives it joy lies slain,
And why unblooms the best hope ever sown?
Crass Casualty obstructs the sun and rain,
And dicing Time for gladness casts a moan. . . .
These purblind Doomsters had as readily strown
Blisses about my pilgrimage as pain.


In his poem “Hap” Thomas Hardy writes about chance and the random nature of life.

In the first stanza he writes of his desire that “some vengeful god would call to [him]/ From up the sky and laugh.” He wishes that the god would admit to taking joy from the suffering of the lowly mortal. Why does Hardy ask for such a sadistic, vengeful god? Hardy gives his answer in the second stanza of the poem. He writes that the existence of such a god would allow him to bear his sufferings with a feeling of righteous anger, or “ire unmerited.” The existence of such a god would be useful to Hardy because he could direct all his anger created by suffering at one being. It would also ease his suffering to know that “ a powerfuller than [himself]/ had willed and meted me the tears [he] shed.” In other words, Hardy’s suffering would be reduced if only he knew that some force greater than he had caused the suffering he experiences. In the third stanza Hardy laments about the fact that the existence of such a convenient, vengeful god is “not so.” After he states that no malevolent god exists to deal out his sorrows, he asks, “How arrives it joy lies slain,/ and why unblooms the best hope ever sown?” Why should he not be happy if there is no malevolent force preventing it? Why should all his hopes be ruined? Hardy answers his own questions by writing that “Crass Casualty obstructs the sun and rain,/ and dicing time for gladness casts a moan.” In other words, Hardy is saying that only random chance is responsible for his suffering. In the last two lines of his poem he writes about the fact that random chance has indifferently given him as many blessings as sufferings in his life.

A sense of Rootlessness

Just out of the blue, I thought of searching about Jarnail Chitarkaar, whose paintings of the Punjabi culture I've grown up with.

I found him online, but not many of his works were featured on his site.

Nevertheless, one was- Bhatta lai ke challi khet nu



I was in class sixth or seventh when I used to love these paintings of his so much that I had painted some of them myself. This was one of them.

I used to be so proud of my Punjabi identity at that time. I used to collect Punjabi poems, couplets; I used to do active research about my history and culture. I used to dream dreams of doing my language proud.

I miss that activism now. And, I deeply miss that innocent enthusiasm. I wish it comes back...

On Ability

"So, let's start again from the beginning. Theaetetus, try to define knowledge. Don't ever say that it's beyond your ability. If God is willing, and if you find the courage, ability will follow."

Socrates to the young student 'Theaetetus', in the eponymous book by Plato.

On Imagination

But what is the imagination? Only an arm or weapon of the interior energy; only the precursor of reason.

ATTRIBUTION:Ralph Waldo Emerson

When upon a Stumbling Block

When a stumbling block drops
With a thud on your path
You may look back
And rue the false start.

Or you may brainstorm
To make it go away.
It finally will
And you walk on your way.

Stumbling blocks drop for a reason. They do not mean to stop you. They mean you to reassess.

I faced one yesterday. It made apparent to me one basic flaw that most of what I've written for my book till now has. For most of yesterday, I felt low, riddled with doubt, that maybe my idea was not so 'great' or 'unique' or 'important' after all. Even then, I knew that this mood did not mean 'giving up', that it was just my immediate reaction to a very important feedback on my idea, and that the faith would reassert.

It has, but now I can see that the project is bigger and grander than I was thinking it to be! And, to live up to its scope, I will have to work very very hard.

It's going to be an educational roller coaster henceforth. Ahead are the months of Intense Study and Hard Work. I will not be getting a degree for it, but my dream of being a researcher is going to be fulfilled.

This book will bring to fruition all these aspects of mine- the writer, the dreamer, the ideator, the researcher, the psychologist. It's going to enrich me. Immensely. It's an ideal first book!

Defining Poetry

Poetry is nothing but the right words in the right order. :-)

On 'What is Literature...'

I've found my answer to 'What Is Literature and what is not':

If it's a compromise, it's not literature.

The Tolstoy Farm of Gandhi

I was pondering today about what kind of education would actually work for the poor.

One of the ideas that I came across was of The Tolstoy Farm that Gandhi had founded in South Africa. It was a precursor of the Sabarmati Ashram he set up upon his return to India. Read about how the young members of the farm were educated- in Gandhi's own words.

Also read: Page 139 of this e-book.

This is a TIME article dated 5th Sep, 1938 (!!!), about the Wardha Education Scheme propagated by Gandhi.

and, this one dated 8th Oct, 2008 (back to our times :))

Here is a detailed analysis of the Wardha scheme.

As for my own analysis, wait for some time :-)

Education & poverty

Republished from The Hindu Online

"Education is not a way to escape poverty — it is a way of fighting it.''

— Julius Nyerere, former President of the United Republic of Tanzania

POVERTY IS much more complex than simply income deprivation. Poverty entails lack of empowerment, lack of knowledge and lack of opportunity as well as lack of income and capital. Despite increased access to education, the poor — disproportionately women, socially disadvantageous groups, the physically disabled, persons in remote regions — are often deprived of a basic education. And when basic education is available, the poorest are unable to avail of it because the direct and opportunity costs attached to it are quite high for them.

Poverty is thus both a cause and an effect of insufficient access to or completion of quality education. Children of poor families are less likely to enrol in and complete schooling because of the associated costs of attending school even when it is provided "free''. The cost of uniforms, supplies and transportation may well be beyond the means of a poor family, especially when the family has several children of school age. This means that choices have to be made, and the choice is often to drop out of school or, worse yet, to deny schooling to girls while enrolling the boys thereby contributing directly to maintaining the inferior status of women. And as poor children who are enrolled grow older, the opportunity cost (their lost labour and the forgone income it may entail) becomes greater, thus increasing the likelihood of abandoning school.

Furthermore, dropping out of school because of poverty virtually guarantees perpetuation of the poverty cycle since the income-earning potential of the child is reduced, not to mention overall productivity, receptivity to change, and capacity to improve quality of life. Lack of education perpetuates poverty, and poverty constrains access to schooling. Eliminating poverty requires providing access to quality education.

The relationship between education and poverty reduction is thus quite straight and linear as education is empowering; it enables the person to participate in the development process; it inculcates the knowledge and skills needed to improve the income earning potential and in turn the quality of life. Moreover, education of girls and women helps in improving the number of other indicators of human development.

Education thus helps to lay the foundation for the following pillars of poverty reduction:

Empowerment, human development, social development and good governance.

Basic education empowers individuals as:

* It opens up avenues of communication that would otherwise be closed, expands personal choice and control over one's environment, and is necessary for the acquisition of many other skills.

* It gives people access to information through both print and electronic media, equips them to cope better with work and family responsibilities, and changes the image they have of themselves.

* It strengthens their self-confidence to participate in community affairs and influence political issues.

* It gives disadvantaged people the tools they need to move from exclusion to full participation in their society.

* It empowers entire nations because educated citizens and workers have the skills to make democratic institutions function effectively, to meet the demands for a more sophisticated workforce, to work for a cleaner environment, and to meet their obligations as parents and citizens.

Social and economic gains

Investing in women's education results in substantial social and economic gains.

* Educated women have fewer children. In South Asia, women with no education have seven children on average; women with at least seven years of education have fewer than four children.

* Educated women have healthier children; in Africa, one out of five children dies before the age of five if the mother has no education; the probability is more than halved for children whose mothers have seven years of education. Educating women has a stronger positive effect on children's health than educating men.

* Mothers are also much more closely involved in the immediate care of children and in the critical decisions about food, sanitation and general nurturing, all of which influence children's health and development. Longer spacing between births leads to healthier children.

* Education provides women with greater opportunities for employment and income, and raises the opportunity cost of their time in economic activities compared to child rearing. Such economic gains motivate families to have fewer children.

* The vicious cycle of high birth rates, high maternal and infant mortality and endemic poverty has been transformed into a virtuous circle through investment in human capital-enhancing labour productivity, reducing fertility and mortality, raising economic growth and thus securing domestic resources for further investments in people.

Social development

* Education is an important means of facilitating and directing social change. Children (and adults) who attend school are exposed to new ideas and concepts and attitudes that form part of the basis for social change.

* The socialisation obtained by attending school includes such values as punctuality, following instructions, managing time, planning work, focusing attention, adhering to rules and receptivity to new concepts, thus helping to develop persons better suited, function effectively in a changing society.

* Education also plays an important role in cultural transmission. Transmission of culture, appreciation of cultural heritage, understanding of national history, inculcation of cultural values are all increasingly left to the schooling process as traditional societies change.

Education is a powerful tool for introducing members of a society to the system of government and the concept of governance. The school curriculum always includes considerable attending to the essential ideas of nationhood and government and to the operation and structure of government. Participation by children in classroom committees and school government lays the foundation for participation as adults in local government. Educated persons are more likely to vote and participate in local and national government. They are more likely to demand better and more accountable government, thus creating demand for improved governance. Education is linked to empowerment, and a major manifestation of empowerment is the demand for better governance.

The continuing challenge for education is to ensure that all people have the knowledge and skills necessary for continuing human and economic development and for breaking the poverty cycle. The linear relationship between education, poverty and empowerment is, however, governed by the circumstances of a country and within a country in a particular region. Education, thus, influences and is influenced by the context in which it is developed. This synergistic relationship implies that education must be in a constant state of change as it responds to changing social and economic needs and that education in itself is a force for social and economic change as people become more empowered and more productive.

K. VENKATASUBRAMANIAN

Member, Planning Commission

I agree with the article. But what the author does not discuss, and indeed what I was actually searching for when I stumbled upon this article, was the way to ensure that education empowers the poor. Right now, it is clearly failing to do so. There are no good jobs unless and until you do a graduation and a post-graduation, and that is far out of the reach of the poor. So, in that case, what difference does it make if a child has studied till fourth or till sixth or till tenth? Why drag him till tenth, thus foregoing six years of his productivity, when he could actually have earned something and been on his own all that while?

It has to make 'sense' to the poor for them to send their child to the school and not the fields.

And that is missing, I think.

And, I think that the education system is partly to be blamed for it. It is solely based on 'learning by rote', and that is such a corruption of the mind and the intelligence really! It gives you the label of 'educated' despite giving you any ability whatsoever to think for yourself or to generate new ideas.

I am of the opinion that Education can truly empower the poor only if it is relevant to their immediate surroundings.

What I want to develop is a clear idea of how that can be done. Any ideas/examples anyone?

Read here: Gandhi's experiment on the issue.

The Indian Mythology and The Greek One

Washing my face in the basin, having just read the myth behind 'Cornucopia', I thought of exploring why the Greek mythology did not become a religious text, but the Hindu mythology did (not entirely though- the Panchtantra, and the Vikram-Baitaal stories too form a part of our mythology).

More on that later.

Meanwhile, read this bit of info about the Vikram-Baitaal stories:

"The Baital-Pachisi, or Twenty-five Tales of a Baital is the history of a huge Bat, Vampire, or Evil Spirit which inhabited and animated dead bodies. It is an old, and thoroughly Hindu, Legend composed in Sanskrit, and is the germ which culminated in the Arabian Nights, and which inspired the "Golden Ass" of Apuleius, Boccacio's "Decamerone," the "Pentamerone," and all that class of facetious fictitious literature.

The story turns chiefly on a great king named Vikram, the King Arthur of the East, who in pursuance of his promise to a Jogi or Magician, brings to him the Baital (Vampire), who is hanging on a tree. The difficulties King Vikram and his son have in bringing the Vampire into the presence of the Jogi are truly laughable; and on this thread is strung a series of Hindu fairy stories, which contain much interesting information on Indian customs and manners."

The stories can be read here.

And, giving that link gave me a thought about the importance of translation- if it were not for this painstaking art, so much of our cultural wealth (am talking at the world level, not just India) would be lost, or diminished!

From an Arvind Adiga interview

One thing at the heart of this novel, and in the heart of Balram as well, is the tension between loyalty to oneself and to one's family. Does this tension mirror a conflict specific to India, or do you think it's universal?

AA: The conflict may be more intense in India, because the family structure is stronger here than in, say, America, and loyalty to family is virtually a test of moral character. (So, "You were rude to your mother this morning" would be, morally, the equivalent of "You embezzled funds from the bank this morning.") The conflict is there, to some extent, everywhere.

The complete interview here.

GMAT being rigged!

I saw advertisements in the local newspapers seeking test-takers for GRE, GMAT and TOEFL, and offering handsome remuneration depending on the score. A score of 750 in GMAT would fetch a princely Rs 50,000!

I called the number given and asked the guy on the phone to explain how it was that they were paying people to take the test!

He asked my qualification, and perhaps convinced that I could be a potential test-taker, asked me if I had heard about scoretop.com (I hadn't). He explained broadly about what they did. I did not understand it fully then. But now, when I searched about scoretop.com, their modus operandi became clear.

The questions asked in the GMAT remain live for around a month, which means that if I have taken the test today, and you take it within a few days, chances are that some questions of my test will be repeated in yours.

What scoretop.com did was that it posted online the questions that the test-takers reported and sold them to those who were in the queue for the test. This way, test-taker No. 1 made money by 'selling' the questions, and Test-taker No. 2, who 'bought' those questions got a good score.

This scam was discovered however and the website was shut down.

The advertisements I saw in the newspaper today indicate an offline version of the same scheme.

Just iMAGine!

When change beckons

For me to see

And the haze clears

Without much decree

I just iMAGine

And it sets me free



Then dreams whisper

and ideas ignite

I see a new journey

An unexpected flight

I still iMAGine

But now I see light



And the day will come

When I'll have the key

When I really do realize, that

The MAGic was always me,

I will then iMAGine

And that's when I'll BE!



It doesn't really take much

Just the courage will do

You just gotta iMAGine

And orange could be blue!


So give another thought,

spare the other view

Cast your spell now, remember

The MAGic is always you!

Amita Kalra


'The Magboard' is now 'iMAGine'!

iMAGine is a group of students of the University Institute of Engineering and Technology (UIET), Panjab University, Chandigarh, and they are dedicated to create a dynamic platform for the city youth to express themselves.

See their new ambitious project HERE!

On Crowd Psychology

This is the wikipedia article.

Especially interesting- this paragraph:

"Edward Bernays, nephew of psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud, was considered the father of the field of public relations. Bernays was one of the first to attempt to manipulate public opinion using the psychology of the subconscious. He felt this manipulation was necessary in society, which he felt was irrational and dangerous."

E-book on crowd psychology: Here

An article to read on Vikram Seth

Here!
and,
Here

While reading about JMG Le Clezio

His fascination with other ways of life has led some critics to describe his work as "metaphysical fiction," a kind of questioning of traditional forms of being. "I have the feeling of being a very small item on this planet, and literature enables me to express that," he said. "If I had to venture into philosophy, I'd say I was a poor Rousseauist who hasn't really figured it out."

Crazy-sounding ideas come just like that...

I was reading Karan Bajaj's recommendations for reading, and I read this para about Ruskin Bond:

"He was so much of a role model for me in college (before IIM corrupted me with dreams of power and glory) that I went to meet him once unannounced at his house in Mussourie."

And, I had the sudden inspiration- why don't I do that too!!!

I was going to end the piece with a "Maybe I will" but that sounded lame and lacking of any will at all, but the idea has just come, so I cannot pretend to be very determined about it either, but it is exciting all right!

Maybe I WILL go and meet him. :)

Time Travel

What is 'Literature' and what is not?- Part 2

Follows: What is 'Literature' and what is not?- Part 1

But then...there is the case of Chetan Bhagat.

Chetan Bhagat wrote 'Five Point Someone.' I have many friends for whom it was the first novel they had ever read, and they thoroughly enjoyed it. It gave them the confidence that they too could read books! I myself had not been able to put it down till I had finished it, even though I had an exam a day later.

Yet, when I searched on him, I realized that his books are not regarded very well by the 'literature' folks. I culled the following lines from a NY Times write-up on him:

'Mr. Bhagat and his publisher, Kapish Mehra, of Rupa & Company, have an easy retort to the critics: the books sell.

“He is not a literary writer,” Mr. Mehra said. “But, more importantly, he is a successful and popular writer.”'

The writer and his publisher himself admit that he is not a literary writer, but a popular one, thus regarding the two as distinct and mutually exclusive categories.

Out of all the books that I've read in the last few months, the few that were genuine page-turners were 'Almost Single' and 'Devil wears Prada.'

Yet, both of these have been conveniently labeled off as 'Chick-Lit' and nudged to a corner.

A writer who has written just these kind of books is not considered great enough. A reader who reads just such books is not considered good enough. I want to know if that should be so.

Given below is a list of a few 'works of ideas'. Which one of these do you consider a part of 'Literature'?

1. Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat.
2. You Can Win by Shiv Khera.
3. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Dale Carnegie.
4. Chacha Chaudhary comics
5. Calvin and Hobbes
6. The Panchatantra Stories
7. The stories published in 'Champak', 'Nandan', 'Chandamama', 'Sarita' or other popular magazines.
8. The novels sold in bus-stands, railway stations and airports.
9. The Joke Books of Khushwant Singh
10. The poems of Wordsworth.
11. The film songs.
12. A play.
13. The script of a movie.

I am looking forward to your reply.

P.S. (Dated Oct 25, 2008): I've made my rule to discern what is literature and what is not.

What is 'Literature' and what is not?- Part 1

The latest issue of 'Outlook' is accompanied by a slim booklet on Tamil pulp fiction. It contains two translated-into-English stories, each written by a well-known writer of local pulp fiction, one of whom is said to have written 1200 novels and 20,000 short stories!

I read both stories with curiosity, because I knew that they sold, but were looked down upon by the academics and were not even regarded as 'literature', and I wanted to know why.

Well, one factor that 'cheapened' these stories (in my estimation) was that they made brazen attempts to titillate the readers. The women were used as props in both, as sex-objects, and the sexual imagination of the reader was actively stoked. They were not there because the story demanded it, but because the readers apparently did. 'Sex sells' and so, it was faithfully there in each story.

I think the distinguishing factor between Pulp Fiction and Literature could be the Intent. The former is written solely to sell, while the latter keeps that as a secondary objective.

This distinction is similar I think to the 'Commercial cinema' v/s 'The Art cinema' divide that the movies have.

And yet, there are enough popular writers/ directors whose work is accepted as a work of Art. Charles Dickens used to serialize most of his novels in newspapers. He would sometimes even pep up a particular novel that was not doing too well, by introducing dramatic sequences or altering the storyline he had thought for it. Yet, all of his novels are regarded as literature.

What Arthur Conan Doyle wrote in his time were only popular detective stories. But today, nobody has any doubts regarding the stature of Sherlock Holmes in the classic English literature.

Vikram Seth, Ruskin Bond and R.K. Narayan have written in a highly entertaining and easy-to-understand style. Yet, the tales they have woven are all high-quality literature.

So, I think that what we can conclude is that if you think the author is being true to his art, is not compromising it, or indulging in cheap sensationalism, if you sense that profit is not his main motive, then you respect him for it, and regard his work as 'literature'.

But then...

Read Further: What is 'Literature' and what is not?- Part 2

To have something you've never had

To have something you've never had, do something you've never done.

The Warning Bell

Today, I watched 'Welcome to Sajjanpur' and 'Saas, Bahu aur Sensex' back-to-back. Both were bad.

On my way back home, drained as I was by the effort, I was thinking that there is really no excuse for mediocrity. A shoddy product gets, and deservedly so, ruthless criticism.

I promised to be extra-strict about the standards set for my book.

Balraj Sahni+Tagore+Punjabi

Here is the link for the story of when Tagore asked Balraj Sahni why he did not write in Punjabi.

Excerpts from Balraj Sahni's 1972 convocation address to JNU:

"I think you will also agree that the British used the English language with remarkable success for strengthening their imperial hold on our country.

Now, which language in your opinion would their successors, the present rulers of India, choose to strengthen their own domination? Rashtrabhasha Hindi? By heavens, no. My hunch is that their interests too are served by English and English alone. But since they have to keep up a show of patriotism they make a lot of noise about Rashtrabhasha Hindi so that the mind of the public remains diverted.

Men of property may believe in a thousand different gods, but they worship only one-the God of profit. From the point of view of profit the advantages of retaining English to the capitalist class in this period of rapid industrialization and technological revolution are obvious. But the social advantages are even greater. From that point of view English is a God sent gift to our ruling classes.

Why? For the simple reason that the English language is beyond the reach of the toiling millions of our country. In olden times Sanskrit and Persian were beyond the reach of the toiling masses. That is why the rulers of those times had given them the status of state language. Through Sanskrit and Persian the masses were made to feel ignorant, inferior, uncivilized, and unfit to rule themselves. Sanskrit and Persian helped to enslave their minds, and when the mind is enslaved bondage is eternal.

It suits our present ruling classes to preserve and maintain the social order that they have inherited from the British. They have a privileged position; but they cannot admit it openly. That is why a lot of hoo-haw is made about Hindi as the Rashtrabhasha. They know very well that this Sanskrit-laden, artificial language, deprived of all modern scientific and technical terms, is too weak and insipid to challenge the supremacy of English. It will always remain a show piece, and what is more, a convenient tool to keep the masses fighting among themselves."

Culled from S. Varadarajan's blog.

The Interest of the Day: Lexicographers

That is what I am searching on today. Random searches led by curiosity and they led to a few nuggets of thought:

1. I reread about 'The Whole Earth Catalogue.' I identified with the vision of the man who had a simple idea: to create a single platform for any man seeking for knowledge on anything on this earth. It inspired Steve Jobs as a child, and decades later, he talked about it in his famous commencement address at the Stanford University that so inspires me. It's marvelous- how the light of inspiration ideas spreads.

2. I searched for Bhai Kahn Singh Nabha. I wanted to know what had motivated him to compile the 'Mahaan Kosh'- till date the only encyclopedia of Punjabi. I read that he was a great scholar, and that all his knowledge was self-amassed, that he had had no formal learning. And, I read that he spent 15 years researching for the 'Mahaan Kosh.' A thought came to me- he put in so much hard work, and he is revered for that too, but only within the boundaries of the Punjabi speaking community. Had he done the same amount of work in a more 'economically powerful' language, such as English, his fame would have spread so much wider.

I have had the same thought regarding Waris Shah before. His 'Heer' is the soul of the Punjabi literature. When people have to convey his stature in Punjab to an outsider, they say, 'He is the Shakespeare of Punjabi.' But no one will face the need to introduce Shakespeare as 'the Waris Shah of English.'

Both the men were equally talented, both were geniuses with words, both had great imagination. Both are revered as the grand old men of their respective languages.

The only reason why one is so far ahead of the other in a casually compiled 'Who's Who' list is that one's language is more powerful than the other.

What makes a language powerful or weak is the political power of those who speak it. The reason why English is ascendant over French, German, and Punjabi (which lags quite far behind in this list) is that it had the patronage of the UK and the USA.

I've been a passionate proponent of 'Punjabi Bachao' efforts. But one thing that I have come to understand is that people cannot be made to speak Punjabi with mere sentimentality, by telling them that it is their mother-tongue and so they must not forget it. Rather, I think, people will speak Punjabi if it makes practical (read 'Economic') sense to do so. That is the reason why Punjabi households strive to speak in English today.

If Shakespeare's ghost comes visiting

I am extremely interested in the writers who were not recognized during their lifetimes but later on grew into literary phenomena, lauded as the chief architects of a whole new style of writing or some similarly huge epithets.

I was just reading about Herman Melville on wikipedia. He had the same story. So does Scott Fitzgerald and our dear Mr Shakespeare. Shakespeare died as a respected poet and playwright, but just that. He was considered 'one among the many' such talented writers. His reputation did not rise to its present heights until the nineteenth century!

If Shakespeare's ghost came visiting today, he would actually be quite surprised. The Grand Old Man of English? "Is it me they are talking about?" He will be quite shocked first, then thrilled with the realization, will do a little hee-hoo by himself. But after that will come the thought- What difference does it make now? They may say anything now but that will not undo the struggles I had to do in my lifetime, which I would have not have had to, had they recognized me then. But they did not, and that is what matters. Saying so, the ghost will quietly leave, thinking sadly of what could have been...

Sonnet to my Mother

Most near, most dear, most loved, and most far,
Under the huge window where I often found her
Sitting as huge as Asia, seismic with laughter,
Gin and chicken helpless in her Irish hand,
Irresistible as Rabelais but most tender for
The lame dogs and hurt birds that surround her,—
She is a procession no one can follow after
But be like a little dog following a brass band.
She will not glance up at the bomber or condescend
To drop her gin and scuttle to a cellar,
But lean on the mahogany table like a mountain
Whom only faith can move, and so I send
O all her faith and all my love to tell her
That she will move from mourning into morning.


George Baker

I did a google search on the word 'seismic' to see any innovative usage of the word, and that was how I came to this poem. I loved the phrases- 'seismic laughter', 'scuttle to a cellar', 'sitting as huge as Asia'...in general, the poem evoked a wonderful imagery.

Stumbled upon JRR Tolkien

I was doing the word lists, and did a google search for the word 'Niggle'. That is how I came to JRR Tolkein's story 'Leaf by Niggle.'

Reading about it, my interest was suddenly aroused to see how Tolkien had built his enormous vocabulary and how he propagated it.

Well, there were these lines that I wanted to copy paste here for future reference:

"Mum is not the word for Roverandom: this book can be enjoyed by anyone who loves The Hobbit, from the most abstruse Tolkien scholar to intelligent children of perhaps age 8 or 10. The vocabulary is steep, but as the editors note, Tolkien insisted that children learn new words by reading ones they do not already know. Anyone curious about the allusions can look them up in the notes, but they are not marked in the text and are no more necessary than would be notes to Farmer"

Source: http://www.mythsoc.org/roverrev.html

A good read in teh first half: http://www.calvin.edu/minds/vol02/issue04/cengbers.php

**************************

"A myth or a fairy story can convey love and hate, selfishness and self-sacrifice, loyalty and betrayal, good and evil -- all of which are metaphysical realities, that is, true, even if conveyed in a mythological or fairyland setting."

**************************

Tolkien realized that when you learn a language, you don't just learn auditory symbols, you also learn about the history, culture, and values of the society that speaks that language. Therefore he came up with a "world" history and a society where his invented languages could have evolved.

Curtain-Raiser: The Half-M

Day after day is passing, it's now a week since I came back home, and I've not yet blogged anything about it-not about the last week in Bangalore, the last day at Infy, the farewell, the train-journey-all-alone, the coming back, the days here- despite intending to, so seriously. It's that same excuse- didn't find the time.

Even now, that is not what I came here for (though I will write about it all- soon!)

Today, I ran. After many, many weeks. And, Mohali saw me run a distance of 10 km for the first time. Last year, when I used to go for walks at the local Rose Garden, I could do no more than 3 rounds (roughly 1 mile) of jogging. Today, I did not stop/walk even once. I felt so proud!

Running is one legacy I will always fondly attribute to Bangalore. It let me run, gave me so many opportunities to. I was a part of the 'Runners for Life' mailgroup. And, I ran with the 'Hash House Harriers.' There, I met people older than my father, some almost as old as my grandmother, coming for their sunday run. It was a wholly new lifestyle, a new attitude that I was exposed to. There, I met a sprightly lady, with silver hair, dressed in a full cyclists' gear. She assembled her cycle, and as we ran, she cycled past. I told her that she is the kind of old lady I want to be, and she expressed mock objection to being called old.

Bangalore gave me the confidence that it'll never be too late to start running. I started running.

My first goal was the Sunfeast 10 km run, and that I ran on May 18, 2008.

The next target was to run the Half Marathon in the Bangalore Marathon scheduled for Sep.

But then I decided to resign, and so my Half-M goal shifted to the Delhi Half Marathon, planned for November.

From today, I officially start the training for the Half-M.

That is what I had come to the blog for :-)

The Last Day Mail at Infosys

As I Bow Out


In the world of words

I had wanted to go

When college ended a year ago

Words make me glow

I like to plough

Them through and sow

In ideas; when they grow,

Aglow in beauty, so

Much pride I feel in me.

I feel so rich. I glint in glee.



The appointment letter led me though

To this job and I do know

That to it there’s much I owe

It let me out of my burrow

To soar. It gave me wings to grow

And flew me in to a metro.

I thank you, dear team, also

As to the words’ world I go. I bow.

Eyes on the year ahead

Today, I watched 'The Motorcycle Diaries'- 2 medical students, one 23 year old, and another 29, decide to travel across Latin America on their rickety motorcycle, for adventure. Their journey brings them closer to Life, and its grim realities that were hidden from them in their cocoon of privileged existence, one of them becomes a revolutionary, Che Guevera.

I liked their idea of such a travel. I hope for a similar 'awakening' too, in the coming one year- my year of Adventure.

I am aware of how remote and sequestered an existence I am leading right now, just busy with a life of hedonism and self-indulgence. I have no knowledge, no opinion about most of what goes on.

There have always been some people around me whose encyclopedic knowledge wowed me. The first and the most profound influence has been Papa. Since childhood, I now realize, I have subconsciously modelled myself on him- his love for books, for newspapers, for libraries, for treks, for our culture, language, for intelligence- I think I've picked these traits up in my quest to be his perfect daughter. But, one thing that he has, and I don't, is the ability to discuss knowledgeably on a vast range of topics. I just sit mum and listen most of the times. He remembers the facts, as I have discovered so many people do, but, and that is a crippling handicap, I don't.

I don't remember facts. Most of the times, I will recall vaguely, "Yes, I had read something about that....something like this...." and so on, and what I produce from memory is an oversimplified version of the actual story, and it makes me feel 'dumb'.

The day before yesterday, I was reading a collection of Arundhati Roy's interviews. I did not like her sharp, high-pitched voice that I could almost hear shouting through the pages, but she had a voice. A powerful voice that made you hear it. The confidence in her words, in her thoughts, reminded me of Ayn Rand's 'The Fountainhead.' For the duration of my reading, she too had had me under her sway.

It is this confident voice that I lack. I like to see myself as a 'thinking individual', perhaps again, because Papa is one. But right now, I don't deserve that description. I am a very ordinary girl, who doesn't know most of what goes around her.

I hope to change that.

The Real Challenge Is Now

It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them. Alfred
Adler

I have taken my decision- I have set rolling the process of resignation from Infosys.

Why did I need to do it?

Many people have not understood.

There have been some who have responded with "Aha!" They were proud of me, they said, proud for the courage I had shown.

Courage? I am not sure if that word is applicable here.

I did not take this decision thinking it was 'bold' or 'courageous' or whatever. I am not even sure if it is right. I did it, simply because I had to. The restlessness I felt inside was not letting me live.

That said, the drama is over now. The decision is taken. The family has been told, and they have nodded in support. The company has been informed and there is no turning back now.

I am in Bangalore for six more weeks. I expect to be relieved on Jul 31. I have no work in hand in the office, and in general, I've told myself that these two months- June and July- ought to be my model months. I ought to live them with the habits I hope for the year ahead- My Great Year Of Experimentation. Because simply, if I cannot do it now, I cannot do it then.

This is a very foreign concept that I am implementing in my life- to live an year of Bohemian existence, totally after your dreams, trying to 'figure out' what you want to do with yourself and with your life.

That's why so many people have not understood the decision. "Can you not figure out while keeping your job?" they've said.

I have not been able to. The restlessness did not leave me these ten months.

So, then, that's what made me take the big hop. An irrational restlessness, that I cannot quite explain to anyone else, and that I cannot say for sure I will not face again.

Like for instance, I faced it yesterday.

After many days.

Yesterday, Sullenness revisited me. I kept a tight face the whole day, not talking to or indulging my friends, and just staring at my computer screen resolutely, trying to work on the story that was my target for the day, and yet not quite working on it, and instead spending that time chatting on the communicator, or reading emails or stories or online books- doing anything to escape the act of writing. After the lunch, I walked to the bus stop, with a beating heart, weighed down by the guilt, knowing that it was writing that I was trying to escape, but telling myself that I wanted to read 'Arranged Marriage' by Chitra Divakaruni because I wanted to give myself a model worth aspiring- giving myself all sorts of justifications for what I knew was a timid act of running away.

I almost reached the bus stop, and that is when I knew that I would not be able to look myself in the eye if I went further. If I cannot do it now, I cannot do it ever.

I turned back, back to the office.

I was on my seat again.

I still did not write. I still wasted time reading newspapers, and then, surfing the websites.

It was publishers that I searched for. I wanted to be sure that my latest idea, the one that I am working hard for these days, was marketable.

I spent nearly hours on the task.

I almost submitted a book proposal to a publisher.

But wisely, better sense prevailed.

My idea was just nascent yet. It would be sensible to work on it further, to let it develop itself over the next two months, so that I had a better, firmer product to promote.

I came back to the room with a gnawing emptiness. I had done nothing productive in the whole day.

Well, it's not that I had done nothing. I had started the story I intended to work on yesterday.

Only, I did not finish it.

Like, the many many stories that I have started, but not finished.

This may be attributed to the restlessness in me.

But I know the truth. It's Anxiety.

Anxiety that I may be mistaken after all.

That the story I am writing may not be good, or of any interest or value to anyone.

That I may be deluding myself.

I've discovered that I am scared to push my boundaries, and go beyond. Maybe, it's the fear of the unknown. I fear that I will fail.

That is why, while jogging, I do not regularly upgrade my targets. The moment I start puffing, or longing for air, I slow down. I have never experienced the 'second wind.' Except perhaps during the Sunfeast 10 km Run.

When I am writing, I do not experiment much. I do not go beyond the conventional. And, my biggest problem, the anxiety about 'greatness' does not go away. I do not just write; I write to be 'great'; I write to write a 'great story.' And this ambition makes writing difficult. Ridden with Anxiety. Impossible almost.

I understand that the confidence in my own style will come if I survive through all these anxieties and self-doubts.

Earlier, there was always a 'genuine' reason (to be honest, they were all just excuses) to give to myself for not writing just then.

For the past few months, one of the main reasons I had been feeling so restless was the thought that it had now been too much time since I had been just talking, dreaming, while actually I had done not much.

Now is the time to do.

I have left everything else, to just write.

Till now was the easier part. It just meant doing what I had long romanticized. Now, I will have to live up to what I have done. Ahead lies the challenge.

The 10 km run

I ran the Sunfeast 10 km run today. My timing was 64 min, my best so far. What made me feel good was that I ran for 8 out of the 10 km.

But, I also realized today, that I have a long way to go before I can run well in the Half-Marathon in Sep. Walk-run-walk-run is no charm. What gives a sense of achievement, and indeed what is difficult, is to run the whole hog.

Shunning the cloak of Intellectualism

As I was surfing the net today, with a story idea developing in my mind, I was struck by a realization- my writing style is undergoing a change!

Earlier, I used to write stories told in a serious, almost impersonal voice. Stories that I thought the great writers would have written.

But now, I am beginning to accept the fact that I myself do not read those stories with relish. I read those stories in parts, like a task that must be done, but that is not particularly interesting.

The stories that I've enjoyed the most have had more substance than style to them. In fact, that is the greatness of their style- that the reader cannot see it at all! The reader just reads the story, just goes with the flow, and is unable to stop till the story is finished, and when it does finish, he leaves it with a satisfied smile of having read something whole.

That then is the kind of stories I want to write.

The story that always comes in my mind is 'The Gift Of Magi.'

It's a story that has stayed with me years after I read it, and that I always remember fondly.

That was because it was a real story- it had something to say. It was not merely a medium to express philosophies or thoughts.

I now want to write stories that I will enjoy reading, not stories that appear intellectual.

Tanha

Dekhiye to lagta hai,
Zindagi ki raahon mein,
Ek bheed chalti hai...

Sochiye to lagta hai..
Bheed mein hain sab tanha.

Jitne bhi yeh rishte hain,
Kaanch ke khilone hain,
Pal mein toot sakte hain..

Ek pal mein ho jaaye...
Koi jaane kab tanha.

Dekhiye to lagta hai,
Jaise yeh jo duniya hai,
Kitni rangeen mehfil hai...

Sochiye to lagta hai...
Kitna gam hai duniya mein,
Kitna zakhmi har dil hai..

Woh jo muskuraate the,
Jo kisi ko khwaabon mein,
Apne pass paate the..

Unki neend tooti hai..
Aur hain woh ab tanha.

Javed Akhtar

Purani Jeans

It was just so sweet watching this video just now. Well, I'm going to relive all my best friendships in the coming days.

These are the days of meeting old friends!

The Runner and the Biker Gal!

Now that I am running, and know that I'll be able to complete the Half Marathon in September, I am feeling grand!

Yesterday, I bought cargoes and a capri. I've always found a capri c-o-o-l and really sporty, and yesterday when I bought one for myself, it was with pride! I was not only gonna look sporty in them. I AM sporty all right! :)

Since a few days, I've had another idea. Once I'm back from my trip to home, I'm going to buy myself a cycle, and then, that's going to be my main mode of transport in Bangalore- not the buses, not the auto- but my cycle will take me everywhere. And I'll make sure it's a s-m-a-r-t cycle!

Yeh, the fancy has me all fired up! :)

Babal tere da dil kare dheeye meriye ni

Listen to it here

Babal tere da dil kare dheeye meriye ni
Doli tenu kadde naa bithawaan
Sada rawein gudiyaan patole ni tu khedadi
Chuk chuk godi ch khidaawaan

Rabb kare hor na tu vadhe sukhaan ladiye
Hoyin na jawaan kade bhul ke
Tere budhhe baap kolon torya ni jaana tenu
Roya vi ni jaana maithon khul ke
Babul de vehre vich dheeyan ikk phull aisa
Lokaan diyaan jeehde te nigaahvaan

Totli zubaan vich gallan guddo teriyaan main
Baani de shlokaan vaangu sunaa ni
Khushiyaan zamaane diyaan karaan qurbaan taithon
Dukh tere phullan vaangu chunnan ni
Modhe naal laa ke tere rabb jehe mukhde nu
Saari raat loriyaan sunaavaan

Pairaan ch panjebaan tere hatthaan vich choodiyaan
Vehde vich rehan chhankaundiyaan
Jivein kisse devte di aarti uttaare koi
Subaho shaam rehan sadaa gaundiyaan
Saariyaan dheeyaan de dukh mainu lag jaan rabba
Ehna nu na laggan hawaawaan

Dhee ghar jamme khaure bura kyon manaunde loki
Putraan lai mangde duaavaan kyon
Dheeyaan hathon maavaan puttan nu khwaundiyan ne
Dheeyan nu paraaya kehan maavaan kyon
Dheeyan hoke dheeyaan nu hi paun fitkaaran dheeyan
Lath jaan buriyaan balaawaan

Maa kade dhee kade bhain kade beewi dhee e
Tere bina duniya adhoori e
Teri iss kukh vich duniya de sukh dheeye
Teri doli torni zaruri e
Marjaana Mann te gunahaan da maarya ee
Doli wala punn te kamaavaan

Gurdas Mann

I've always felt so sentimental about this song. Today, I heard it after many many years, and now again...it is songs like these, the soothing words of tenderness, love and emotions like these, that make me so fiercely proud of my language, and culture. This is the Punjab I feel proud of. This is the Punjabi I identify with- the man who sings this tender song. Not the hideous people who kill brides or kill unborn girl children, or the people who accept all that with a shrug. That is not Punjab. That is not 'my' state. My state is the one where emotions, values, and people are respected.

Some say Punjabi is the rudest language they've heard.

I know that it is one of the sweetest languages. Hearing it sometimes evokes overwhelming images of cool shade (thandiyaan chhawaan), or cold water (sheetal paani)or honey dripping off the tongue of the speaker.

There is sheer poetry, sheer beauty in Punjabi.

That's my language, my state for you.

Jagg jankshan relaan da

Amazing!!!! I've just discovered 'Jagg jankshan relaan da' on net!!! Here!

That's what I've been doing since yesterday- listening to old punjabi songs on the net. And right now, it's just feeling as if I am sitting in Machhiwara, as if I've never moved out of home- home that was Machhiwara, not Mohali.

Since yesterday, my soul parched of Punjabi is being soothed! I'm feeling so fulfilled!

Chann kithaan guzaari aai raat ve

Chann kithaan guzaari aai raat ve
Mainda jee daleelan de vaas ve

Kothe te fir kothra
Mahi kothe sukdaa kha vlaa (??)
Aashqaan jodiyaan kodiyaan te
Mashookan jode raah bhalla

Kothe te fir kothra
Mahi kothe baitha kaan valla
Tu taan mainu bhul gayeon
Main ajje vi teri haan valla

Kothe te fir kothra
Mahi kothe sukdi ret halaa
Asaan gundayiaan mendiyaan
Tu kisse bahaane vekh halaa

Kothe te fir kothra
Mahi kothe te tandoor halaa
Pehli roti tu khaayein
Tere saathi nassde door halla

Kothe te fir kothra
Mahi kothe utte hai pakhiyaan ni
Peevan ton asin tauba kiti
Jad takiyaan taindiyaan akhiyaan ni

Kothe te fir kothra
Mahi kothe de vich baariyaan
Hunn taan vaapas aa narindra
Tu jiteyon main haari aan

Bol Mitti Dea Baawya

I just came across this clip on You Tube. I had heard this song at a play staged at the Raamleela ground of Machhiwara, my home town. That was the first time I'd come across the phrase 'Mitti Da Baawa' and it has tugged at my heart ever since.

Sitting here in Bangalore, listening to Punjabi songs for the past hour and a half, I am feeling so much at home. It's almost as if I am still sitting at home. In Punjab.

Punjabi jehi manohar mitthi
Hor nahin koi boli ditthi! :)

Chhalla

Ho Jaavo ni koi mod lyaavo
Ni mere naal gya ajj lad ke
Ho Allah kare te aaja ve sohna
Devaan jaan kadmaan vich dharke

O chhalla beri oye boor e
Ve watan mahi da door e
Ve jaana pehle poor e
Ve gall sunn chhallya chhora
Ve kaahda laaya ee jhora

Chhalla khooh te dhariye
Ve gallan moonh te kariye
Ve sache Rabb ton darriye
Ve gall sunn challya dhola
Ve Rabb ton kahda ee ohla

O Chhalla kaliyaan marchaan
Ve maura pee ke marjaan
Ve sirre tere chadhsaan
Ve gall sunn chhallya dhola
Ve saad ke kita ee kola

O chhalla 9-9 kheve
Ve puttar mithre mewe
Ve allah sabh nu dewe
Ve gall sunn chhallya kaavaan
Ve mawaan thandiyaan chhawaan

O chhalla kann diyaan dandiyaan
Ve saare pind vich bhandiyaan
Ve gallan chhajj paa chhandiyaan
Ve gall sunn chhallya dhola
Ve saad ke kita ee kola

O chhalla gall di ve gaani
Ve turr gaye diaal de jaani
Ve meri dukhaan di kahaani
Ve aaja sunn ke dhola
Ve tethon kahda ee ohla

O chhalla paaya ee gehne
Ve sajjan beli ni rehne
O dukh jindri de sehne
O gall sunn chhallya dhola
Oye kahda paana ee raula

Mahiya

Koi chhatri di chaan kar ja
Ajj mainu milne di channa hauli jehi haan kar ja

1.

Baage vich aaya karo
Jado asin saun jaayiye
Tusin makhiyaan udaya karo


Tusin roz nahaya karo
Makhiyaan ton darrde o
Gud thoda khaya karo

2.

Kothe te aa mahiya
Milna taan mil aa ke
Nahin taan khasmaan nu khaa mahiya

Ki laina e mitraan ton
Milan te aa javaan
Darr lagda e chhitraan ton

3.

Tusin kaale kaale o
Kujh te sharm karo
Dheeyaan Putraan wale o

Aah saare dand paye kadhde ne
Asin tenu change lagde
Te saade dheeyan putt vadhde ne

4.

Aithe pyaar di puchh koi na
Tere naal nayion bolna
Tere moonh te muchh koi na

Mazaa pyaar da chakh laanga
Je tere hukkam howe
Main taan daadi vi rakh laanga



Peengh pyaar di paavange
Hunn asin mil gaye haan
Geet pyaar de gavaange

Suhe ve cheere valya

Suhe ve cheere valya main kehnni aan
Kar chhatri di chhaan main chhavein behnni aan

Suhe ve cheere valya phull kikraan de
Kikraan laai bahaar mele mitraan de

Suhe ve cheere valya phul tori daa
Bajh tere ve maahiya kujh ni lodida

Suhe ve cheere valya main kehni aa
Lagde teer judaayiaan de main sehni aa

Suhe ve cheere valya do laaldiyaan
mela vekhan aayiaan karma valadiyaan

Suhe ve cheere valya tand jodida
dil da najak sheesha injh ni todida

Suhe ve cheere valya gall ganiyaan
charkha rang rangeela vehde daahniyaan

Suhe ve cheere valya main kehni aan
kar chhatri di chhaan main chhavein behni aan

Listen to the old songs by Surinder Kaur here

Mujhko Yaqeen Hai

mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi -2
jab mere bachpan ke din the,
chaaNd mein pariyaaN rahti thi
mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi

ek ye din jab apnoN ne bhi
hamse naataa toD liyaa -2
ek vo din jab peD ki shaaKhen
bojh hamaaraa sahti thi
mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi

ek ye din jab saari saDken
rooThi rooThi lagti hain -2
ek vo din jab aao khelen
saari galiyaaN kahti thi
mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi

* ek ye din jab jaagi raaten
deevaaroN ko takti hain -2
ek vo din jab shaamoN ki bhi
palken bojhal rahti thi
mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi

ek ye din jab laakhoN Gham aur
kaal paDaa hai aaNsoo kaa -2
ek vo din jab ek zaraa si baat
pe nadiyaaN bahti thi
mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi
jab mere bachpan ke din the,
chaaNd mein pariyaaN rahti thi
mujhko yaqeen hai sach kahti thi
jo bhi ammi kahti thi


Sung by: Jagjeet Singh
Written By: Javed Akhtar

Jutti Kasoori

Jutti Kasoori Pairi Na Poori
Hayye Rabba Vey Sanu Turna Peya
Hayye Rabba Vey Sanu Turna Peya
Jinna Rahaan Di Mei Saar Na Jaana
Ohni Raahein Vey Mainu Murna Peya
Ohni Raahein Vey Mainu Murna Peya

Saure Pindh Diyaan Lambhiyan Vaatan
Bada Pawara Peh Geya
Yakka Teh Pahre Koi Na Keeta
Mahiya Paidal Leh Geya
Mahiya Paidal Leh Geya

Lei Mera Muklava Dhola
Sarke Sarke Javada
Kadheya ghundh Kujh Keh Na Sakdi
Dil Mera Sharmavda Oye
Dil Mera Sharmavda

Sol Piniya Pairh Phoole
Saatho Tureya Jaaye Na
Sajra Joban, Sikhar Dupehran
Taras Sohna Khaaye Na Oye
Taras Sohna Khaaye Na

Pairaan De Vich Pai Gaye Chhalley
Muh Mere Khumlavda
Mahiya Turda Jaaye Aage Ve
Pichhahn Na Jhaati Paavda Oye
Pichhahn Na Jhaati Paavda

Jutti Kasoori Pairi Na Poori
Hayye Rabba Vey Sanu Turna Peya
Hayye Rabba Vey Sanu Turna Peya
Jinna Rahaan Di Mei Saar Na Jaana
Ohni Raahein Vey Mainu Murna Peya
Ohni Raahein Vey Mainu Murna Peya


Sung by: Surinder Kaur

Mitti da baawa

Mitti da baawa main banauni aa
Ve jhagga pauni aa
Ve utte dendi aa khesi
Naa ro mitti dea baawya
Ve tera peau pardesi

Ho Mitti da baawa nayion bolda

Mitti da baawa nayion bolda
Ve nayion chalda
Ve nayion dinda e hungaara
Na ro mitti dea baawya
Ve tera peau vanjaara

Kitte taan laavaan taahliyaan,
Pattan vaaliyan
Ve mera patla maahi
Kitte taan laavaan shehtoot
Ve tenu samjh naa aaye

O Mitti da baawa nayion bolda

That's how I feel Right Now!

That's the exuberance I feel....walking on the roads, humming, singing, jumping, dancing- all by myself. Ah! The joy of living!

Life is a Celebration!!!

Zindagi Aa rha hoon Main!!! :) :) :)

On The Joy That Running Is

(Disclaimer: This is not Sports & Exercise Medicine doctor writing but a crazy runner... a damn crazy runner.
Please do not try this at home, kids please keep a watch on your parents)

Hi kids,

It's been a while since I "RAN".

I got up at 3:45 am on Thursday (21st) morning and was just craving for RUNNING. I just had way to much going on in my head to sleep. I decided to test drive the HPCosmos treadmill at the Sports & Exercise Medicine department at Manipal Hospital, that costs as much as Honda Accord. Wanted to check out for myself if it was as good as the Accord.

I had only run 4-5 times since the Bangalore ultra marathon, of which Tuesday (19th) and Wednesday (20th) were two of them. I have the Rajasthan desert run coming up, where the plan is to run a marathon or more every day for 5 consecutive days. So, needed some training.

One thing I learnt the real hard way was, that training is "over-rated". The only time I had a chance to come first in a marathon, was ruined by a 62 year old running mate. Last time he had run was 6 months before that, as he was nursing an "achilles tendenitis". I was running with him for first 21 km, and then decided he was too slow for me and I carried on. The guy caught up with me at 40 km mark and kicked my butt / ass / arse (take your pick) really bad. I did that particular marathon in 2 hrs 58 min and he did that in 2 hrs 54 min (his personal best). What really got this chap through was his experience of having run more than 200 marathons and rest (experience and recovery).

Back to the treadmill run. Now, the catch was, the department opens at 6 am. I was in my running gear by 4 am and was raring to go.

I finally reached the department by 6:30 am along with my water bottle and 2 Power bars. The plan was to ... hmmm ... RUN I guess. Basically, had nothing planned. Initial running speed was 14 kmph and I was trying to do a quick 5km, which grew to 10 km but then decided to slow down so I could comfortably do more, if I felt like. It was a bit of a struggle for first 40ish minutes, but at sharp 7:13 am, Kieran asked me how I felt. I said, "no legs". He thought I was dying that I couldn't feel my legs. In "Every Second Counts", Lance Armstrong uses a phrase "no chain" when he is going very quick but feels very comfortable. So for me it was "no legs".

At this stage I was cruising at 12-13 kmph. It might seem very slow but I had never run more than 30 min in total on treadmill, all put together, in my life. And I hate treadmills!

By now the plan was to do 20 km, which turned to 30 km. In this time, I had attended to 2 patient's conditions and 1 department issue and also applied some tape on my left bleeding nipple. I had 3 water stops. At times I had increased the speed to 17 kmph but most of the times it was 11 kmph.

After having got to 30 km, it just made no sense to stop there, as only 12 km more would complete the marathon distance. The best part was, I got the sms I was waiting for at around 30 km mark! I couldn't wait, sitting doing nothing. I just felt awesome.

By 40th km, Pariksha (nutritionist) had come, and I asked her to check out my Heart Rate. So, I picked up the speed again to 17-18 kmph and my heart rate touched 200 bpm. According to the formulas given on "Internet" for "Maximum Heart Rate", I had just turned 20 years. I could have reduced it to 15 yrs, but Pariksha advised me to take it easy.

After having turned 20, I had reached the 42.2 km in 3 hrs 40 min. I could have carried on for another 30ish km, but decided to stop. Slow for a marathon, but ok for a run after such a long time.

All systems are ready to go for the Rajasthan desert run and some surprise runs planned over next 2 months. It's cool to find "surprise" & "planned" in the same line.

Keep smiling & miling.

Rajat

--

Dr Rajat Chauhan
Consultant & Head
Sports and Exercise Medicine
Manipal Hospital
Airport Road
Bangalore 560017

I've joined a runners group here, 'Runners For Life'. This is a post I read on its mailgroup. I've published it here with the permission of the author.

The phrase that often entices me while running on the treadmill is, "The first 5 km were a breeze."

That's how I want my runs to be.

My current personal best is 9.44 km in 1 hr.

The Bangalore International Marathon is scheduled for September.

My goal for it is to run the half-marathon in the best possible time.

Day before yesterday, my mind said, "Suppose, just suppose, if I won the half-Marathon!"

Now, there is perfectly no reason why I should believe that to be possible, but an exciting thrill made me smile.

For now, I'll just run I guess.

I'll let the goal build by itself.

Meanwhile, Running is just SO exhilirating! I feel immensely proud of my body!

I am finally into sports. It won't be long before I would be able to call myself a long-distance runner.

I feel just so good about it all!

Reading Opal Mehta

I am reading Opal Mehta, am currently one-thirds through, and am getting more and more irritated by the extent to which she goes to 'fit-in.' She has completely left behind all that was important to her, 'disowned' it in fact, and is desperately trying to live upto other people's (read 3 dumb girls') standards of 'coolness.'

The fact that the book has vexed me enough to write this post should testify to the excellent level of writing- it does take the reader into its world. The book flows confidently, lucidly, without any self-consciousness. Considering the age of Kavya Vishwanathan, I sure am impressed by her talent!

'The Quest' became meaningless

There was a time, not long ago
When I'd resolved to overthrow
All the fat off me, and grow
Wholly slim before home I go.

In these few days though
Something's changed, so
I'm chasing no
More the perfect 'After' photo.

I've started running, And oh!
It feels great to know
You can. In health you glow
And in thanks you bow

For the good health you were bestowed.
To measure the body by the kilo
Is to measure it too shallow.
"Health and strength" is my new motto :-)

Had begun to write a post, but when the first two lines rhymed, just turned it into a poem.

My best timing on the treadmill so far happened yesterday: 9.42 km in 1 hr

A 10-km run is scheduled in Bangalore in May. I am running those distances already on the treadmill, but running on the roads is always slower, and I want to have a great timing by then.

The current world record in half-marathon runs (21.0975 km) is of 66.25 min. In that much time, I am able to run only half the distance! By the time the International Bangalore Marathon happens in Bangalore (that's in September), I want to be able to breeze through that distance.

That is the goal I am working on now.