The Humungous Fungus

There is poetry in that title! :D
A proof that you can find beauty even in a beast (or a fungus for that matter)
I came across this interesting news report while googling on the word 'Humungous'. For the record, Humungous is a hybrid of Huge and Monstrous, and therefore means extremely large and huge. Well, you would know, after reading this article!

Well, the fungus in question is Armillaria ostoyae , also known as the honey mushroom. And its claim to fame is, that it is the largest living organism of our planet! It is at least 2400 years old, and is spread over 2200 acres (the size of 1665 football fields!)
Click here for a darshan of the Monstrous Monolith (thats another new word :D)
http://www.extremescience.com/biggestlivingthing.htm

Overdosed with Profundity!

Well...thats the new word that i learnt today...lol
And this blog is beginning to look like the personal diary of a cat-obsessed philosopher. The cat's mewing just too loudly here! :P (and the philosopher in me too has been unleashed onto the world :D)
Hmmmm...guess its time to make this blog a li'l more interesting and eclectic!

My new goal: Thinking Things and Not Saying them

LOL...this is no contradiction of my earlier post...the context you see is entirely different :D
Well, i am racking my head trying to mute the voice that sounds the words i read...and is it tough? You bet! :P
Its going to be some achievement to increase my reading speed, going by the challenge the habit of subvocalization is posing!

The journey or the destination?

Today, i talked with a friend about her experiences about CAT and she specifically told me not to take it too seriously, or I will lose my cool in the paper.
And our discussion is haunting me now as i got back to my books...will it be possible for me to stay at a safe distance from burning ambition about IIMs? And will i be able to give my best to the preparation if I dont dissolve that distance? Once again, I find myself pondering over hypothetical situations, and wearying myself in profundity.
Well, trust yourself and take things as they come. Just live for the day, and get back to work...the words are waiting!

The Fountainhead

For many days now, I've been clinging to The Fountainhead like an addict :D Its going to finish tonight, and I am delaying going back to the book, coz i dont want it to finish. It is a powerful book really...after a long long time has a book stimulated me so much!
And i've marked the book black with the lines that kindled some ideas or threads. Hmmm...I'll post my analysis of the book in some days.

Just Randomly

Last year, on my 20th Bday, I had thought that that day was my first step into the most momentous decade of my life...the decade that will decide the course my life takes!
It had been a random thought.
And today, I got another thought.
Its not true. There is really no need to attach such urgency and importance to my 20s.
For, we live in our minds, and my mind will continue to grow forever. So, its not as if I've to drink in as much knowledge and experience as i can in this decade. Take it easy. And just flow along with life.

Something's missing

Its been many days now since i last posted on the blog. Since yesterday evening, I have been feeling low, with my mind mulling over many uneasy questions. Yesterday, we had the concluding session of that Personality Development Programme that I had posted about earlier. And, passive though I was to all the artificially exuberant talk that the guy was giving, one point made me sit up with a start, and I have been thoughtful ever since.

He related the story of an elephant, which had been chained to its place in its early years with a chain of average strength. At that time, it had tried many-a-times to break free, but it never could because the chain always proved to be stronger than it. So, it just accepted that fact after sometime and gave up trying. Now, that it had grown into a titanic animal of tremendous strength, it still remained meekly chained to the tree. It could break free without much effort if it wanted, but it just never tried! Because it had accepted that the chain was stronger and he was weaker.

I had heard the story before.

But it came back yesterday with new connotations. It made me ask myself, why hadn't i dared to dream BIG? Why was I feeling afraid of dreaming of IIMs? Ever since I've made my mind for CAT, I've been promising myself that I'll give my best to CAT, and will prepare for it with real passion. But not once have I dared to even think of exactly WHAT i want from CAT! Not even in my thoughts have I let the idea (leave alone the ambition!) of a 99.9 percentile surface. I've dreamed about an elite B-School and the intellectually stimulating environment that I'll get there, but not once have I dared put the banner of IIM or MICA at the entrance of that institution. It remains a nameless entity! I'd told myself that I'll automatically get what I deserve. The problem now is that I m taking this statement too literally! I'm not even aspiring!

And that is a serious matter.

At the face of it, everything is fine. I know I have it in me to get into the premier B-schools. My friends too have been boosting me up, and I know that they are speaking sincerely. My first week in Bulls Eye has been awesome, to say the least. I seem even more assured of CAT being entirely suited to my aptitudes, be it in Maths or Vocab. Yesterday, I won the 1st Prize in a Public Speaking contest organised as a part of that seminar, and people told me that my prize came as no-surprise to them (now, that was the bigger prize really! :D). Yeah, everything seems fine.

And yet....something is missing.

Passion.

Yeah, I am deeply interested in my work here at Bulls Eye. I am doing everything I am told to do, and enjoying myself too...a lot! I am Interested, but not Passionate. I have experienced enough of the latter to know the difference.

And...there lies the crux!

I am holding myself back. I am restraining myself, from dreaming BIG!
Why?

Because I am afraid of failure!

That statement would come as a surprise to even me on any other day, but in the mood that i am right now, i know its true. I am afraid that my IIM dreams will crack down just like my IIT dreams, leaving me in misery. The ghost of my 11th debacle is haunting me still!

But thats not being fair to myself!

I cant let my potential remain untapped because of the dry weather i faced in the past.

I have promised to myself today that IIMs or MICA it will be for me.

I will dream!