The Kabir in me is sleeping yet

"Sufiana kalaam gaate gaate Abida Parveen khud sufi ho gayi. Unki aawaaz ab ibaadat ki aawaaz lagti hai"

I heard this prelude to Abida's rendition of Kabir at a website, and it reminded me of Baba Bulle Shah saying:

Raanjha raanjha kardi ni main
Aape Raanjha hoi
Aakho ni mainu dheedho raanjha
Heer na aakho koi

Raanjha main vich main raanjhe vich
Hor khayaal na koi
Main nahin, oh aapey hai
Aapni aap kare dil joi.

Hath khundi, mere agge mangu
Modhe bhuri loi
Bulla Heer saleti vekho
Kithe ja khaloi.

It can be roughly translated as:

So lost am I in Ranjha’s name
That am one with him now
Call me, oh friends, Dheedho Ranjha
Not Heer again anyhow

Ranjha in me, me in Ranjha
No thought could rise above
It’s not me here, it is just him
Just him playful in love

Stick in hand, the herd ahead
And a shawl around
Oh Bulla see! Stately Heer
Now stands at what a ground

Heer says that it is not her, but Raanjha who is saying all this, and that it is not him, but she who is tending after the cattle herd. Thus she emphasises that she is truly one with her beloved now, and has humbly offered all her ego and identity at his altar.

Heer-Ranjha here have been used as a symbol. Baba Bulle Shah is actually talking about true devotion of the soul.

This is how I want to write. To write because I love it. Without any thought of the returns, or any gains to be made from it. I want a return to such purity and simplicity. Away from the materialism, back to the spirituality. I want to make this journey from the ego to the soul.

There are these spiritual yearnings in me, and yet, there is an ambition to be 'successful.' I am an oil-in-water mixture of opposing tugs. I will find peace only when my ambition comes to truce with my devotion. I need to take myself to a place where practicality and spirituality can coexist. Such is my goal in life at present. To find a career that stimulates me, and nourishes my soul and at the same time gives me enough money to live comfortably.

Rukhi sukhi khaaye ke
Thanda paani peeyo
Dekh paraayi chopdi
Na tarsaaye jeeyo

These lines just flowed past me.

I know that my real writing will come only after I have tamed my ego and ambition, and approach writing with humility of a disciple.