The Black Hole-5

He had been feeling twinges of guilt at having decided not to call his friend first. That had been his Ego, and it had been humbled- by the submission of his friend. And with the defeat of the Ego, the Self had emerged.

All his life he had chased success under the belief that it would bring him happiness. And he had obtained it too. But that happiness seemed infinitesimal before the Bliss he had experienced today.

Live today like there will be no tomorrow.

His words came back to him.

If he had only that day to live, would he still spend it the same way as he did now? Away from the people he loved? Not going to them, not reclaiming them, despite sincerely wanting to, because of his ego? Chaining himself to the life of an automaton? Calling himself an Achiever with pride?

No.

He had been doing just that all these years.
If anyone asked him if he were happy, he would answer ‘Yes.’

But did he feel Rapture? No.
Did he feel Content? No.
Did he feel Complete? No.

Would he like to die an incomplete, discontented man? No.

He knew that if he could see his last day coming, he would rather spend his time doing all
the things he had always wanted to do, but never did.

He would follow his heart.

He would listen to his Self.

Even as he wrote it, he could feel the Force surging once again through his Being. He knew he was on the right track.

That was the path to be on.
That was the path to his Being.

He wondered why he had lost sight of that path at all.

He wondered why he had been living the life that he was living.

He had not been living it for his Self. For whom then?

He had been living for Nobody.

It was a disturbing realization. He put the pen down, switched off the lamp and lay down on the bed.

“Damn! Why isn’t sleep coming?”


Japinder Gill